Chief of Chiefs

It is a strange thing to go to a funeral when you are pregnant. For 9 months you are focused on life and growth and new beginnings. At the funeral you are focused on things that have already passed, things that will be no more. Everything feels final. One of the hospice nurses rubbed my belly and said "as one generation goes out, another one comes in. Gramps will be with that baby." And she's right. Life continues on. Gramps passed away and Owen will be born. We will all pass, and many others will be born. I will be a lucky mom if Owen is half the man Gramps was. Loving, gracious, helpful, selfless. And he was good looking, too. Nana said one of the things she hated most about Gramps being sick is that he "lost his cute butt". I can't say that I've ever noticed Gramps' butt, but I believe you, Nana. I've never seen a more handsome man in uniform, though. He should've been in movies.

He retired from the navy in 1974 as Master Chief. His navy buddies dubbed him the "Chief of all Chiefs". I never knew that side of Gramps, he retired before I was born. I did, however know the Gramps that took me camping and opened my Donald Duck orange juice cans. I remember the Gramps that took me along with him to work repairing broken windshields in the South Carolina heat. I remember thick hair, black rimmed glasses and blue work jumpsuits. I remember the always calm, always kind Gramps that loved his family. There are no bad memories of Gramps. He could be found in the garage, on the roof or under the hood of a car. And of course, in front of the TV watching the race. That man loved to watch the race.

As final as a funeral may seem, it is not. Gramps went into eternity with a quiet confidence. He knew his Savior intimately, and he had no doubts about what would happen to him when his life on earth would end. Can we do that? Can we face eternity with the assurance that Gramps had? Life's trials and disappointments, including a long painful illness, had not deterred his faith in Christ. Above all others, I hope that is the legacy that is passed on to the rest of us.

I know that one day we will meet again. And I know that he will be there waiting, with my can of Donald Duck orange juice, the tab already pulled.

A Greater Purpose

A few weeks ago Sean and I traveled to Tallahassee to visit with a friend who was moving across the country. It was a great weekend of catching up with old friends, staying out late and sleeping past 6am. On Sunday morning we grabbed breakfast at Bagelheads (you know, the place we met and started this crazy life) and headed to Element 3 church. Our good friend Eric, who normally leads worship, was preaching. So, our other friend Evan was leading worship. He was joined by his sister Kelby, who played bass and sang vocals. In the middle of worship the thought occurred to me that Evan and Kelby's mom, Wendy, must be so proud of them. This started a crazy thought tangent that went something like this:

I wonder what their childhood was like. Did Miss Wendy always have music on at the house? Did she sing them bed time songs or send them to piano lessons instead of soccer games? What made it possible for both of her children to have such great musical talent? Whatever it was, I want to do it so Finley can play bass and harmonize like that!

Then I had this second stream of thoughts:

What if their music ability had absolutely nothing to do with music they did or did not listen to as a child? What if it had nothing to do with their upbringing and everything to do with a gift that God had given them? What if seemingly small details in our life have nothing to do with the here and now and everything to do with a much bigger purpose? God knew that in giving them musical ability, they would one day be on a stage, together, leading people in worship.

What if moving to Pace wasn't about being closer to family but really about putting Finley (and soon to be baby Owen) into a place where they might come to know Christ? Or thinking even bigger, putting them in a place where they might impact others for the Kingdom? Imagine the weight of our actions if we were aware of their impact on an eternal scale?

I believe God has not only knit us together in our mother's womb and created us, but He has also knit together our paths and our purpose. It is on purpose that I work in the Peds ICU at Sacred Heart. It is on purpose that Sean works for the state. It is on purpose that Finley is loved by her teachers at day care. It is on purpose that we are here now, doing what we are doing, being who we were created to be.

Sean and I left Tallahassee feeling a little sad. We miss our friends. We miss our church. We miss Qdoba and Forever 21 and TCBY. But, we know in our hearts moving was the right thing. I think God gave me a little nudge with Evan and Kelby to remind me that our baby steps here on Earth are all a part of a greater purpose.

Saturdays are for Antiquing.

I'm a sucker for old things. Luckily, Sean is too. Shiny, new things just don't have the same appeal to me as something that's been around for 80 years, or something that has a story to tell. I can't seem to resist rust, chipped wood and faded fabric. In our new home we have a front room that we have no idea how to use. It could be a formal dining room (which we would never use) or a formal living room (again, a room we have no use for). Right now our idea is to find Sean a desk and maybe some upholstered chairs and make a sitting room. On Saturday we went on the hunt for the perfect desk at some local antique shops. I brought my camera along to document the day.

The first place we went was Poor Richards. The man that owns this place gets everything in the store from Europe, mostly Germany and France. In the main showroom there are armoires from the 1700 and 1800's that are massive. I mean huge. Several feet taller than Sean and 4 or 5 feet wide. You can easily imagine them in castles and being filled with giant skirts and petticoats. And hanging on the walls are giant grandfather clocks and relics from old churches. Obviously all of these things are way out of our price range, but very fun to look at. As you wind your way around back there is an opening to a warehouse. This is where the owner works on restoring some damaged pieces and stores everything that doesn't fit in the showroom. This place was packed to the brim with antique furniture, structural pieces and rare finds. One of my favorites was a bucket full of wood block letters for newspaper letterpress, and the door off of an old apartment building from Brazil. There's not really anything in this picture to give you scale, but if Sean were standing next to these doors, he'd only reach about halfway up.

I wanted it all. I loved looking at a piece of furniture and looking at it's scratches and wear marks and imagining the life it lived.

This table had an incredibly detailed top.(Click on it to make it larger.)
Sean and I stumbled on a collection of old school maps. We were instantly sold and decided to haggle with Poor Richard. A few minutes later we were the proud owner of a topographical map of Netherlands, Belgium and Luxembourg. (50 bucks off the asking price!) Glorious. Here it is hanging in our home. What school room would have been large enough for this map? Crazy.
After our trip through Poor Richards, we headed over to Duh. Their website can be found here. If I could have a dream home, this is how it would be designed. Every single room in this store is exactly what I love. Muted colors, distressed wood, quirky accessories...I loved it all. Some rooms took my breath away. I took so many pictures in hopes of designing some rooms in our home to look like Duh. (By the way, on the outside of the price tags are questions. When you open the tag it says "Duh", and then the answer to the question. Clever)

It's hard to tell in these pictures, but most of the furniture is salvaged or repurposed. One of my favorites was an old pharmacy cabinet that was turned into a buffet. You can see the top of it in this picture.
I left feeling sad that this place was not my house (especially after seeing the price tags and knowing I can never afford these things). I had to make a conscious effort to see it as a chance to be inspired and maybe do some DIY projects to get the same look for a lot less money. A little paint and some sandpaper can go a long way, right?

Now I want to roam around northwest Florida looking for abandoned buildings in hopes there's an amazing piece of dust covered furniture waiting for me to come to it's rescue.

This was one of the best Saturdays that we've had in a long time. Saturdays are for Antiquing.

The Search for Creativity.

Lately the daily grind of being a wife, mother and nurse has been especially exhausting. Finley started walking (and getting into EVERYTHING) just as work really began to pick up and get busy. There have been many days recently that I get home well after 8:00pm only to start my other job of being a wife and mother. I adore being a wife to Sean and mother to Finley but I do not adore being a nurse. It's an alright job, and there are moments that are really fulfilling, but for the most part I leave work exhausted and dreading the next day. Taking care of other people is often a heavy burden to bear. Many times on my way home I think of other jobs I could have. Almost always, I think of things like a hairstylist, interior decorator, blogger or photographer. These are all things very different than being a nurse. More creative, less scientific. I crave creativity. I love to walk in to a fabric store and swoon over all the patterns. I follow design blogs and dream of one day being a stay at home mom and blogging about all the cute things I did that day. I miss writing, and reading poetry and constantly finding new music. Nursing is all facts and rules and critical thinking. I'm on a mission to have more creativity in my life. I need to get my sewing machine out and start making things. I need to listen to new music. I need to develop new skills. Recently Sean traded in some of his old cameras and bought me a new camera. A camera that requires more than point and shoot, a camera I can learn on, try out some new things and hopefully fulfill my need to be creative.

New Year, New House!

(Sorry about the video issues in my last post. To be honest, I have been too lazy to figure out why it wouldn't load. If you want to see it, it can be found here. )

Most of you know that Sean and I are currently under contract on a house here in Pace. We couldn't be more excited about finally getting into the house and making it our home. We poured over every house available in the areas we wanted to live in, made lists, weighed our options and narrowed the search down to 4 houses. After visiting the first house I was sold. Sean, on the other hand, needed to see the other three before making his decision. By that afternoon we knew we wanted to make an offer. Here it is! We (tentatively) close January 21st.


For Finley!! The land behind the fence is ours too, so there's sure to be a lot of exploring in our future.
(Images from zillow.com)

Very different than our tiny 1960's ranch in Tallahassee, right? Thank goodness for room to grow!

You haven't heard much from me about the buying process because it has been such a positive experience so far, especially when compared to buying and selling our home in Tallahassee. We were emotionally spent after dealing with the drama of selling our home and I don't think we could have handled another stressful real estate experience. This whole process has been such a blessing and speaks to how God has gone ahead of us and prepared these things for us.

(When I was in high school I did a study on all the names of God. Jehovah-Nissi means "The Lord Our Banner", and usually is used in reference to war and speaks to God's provision and protection for his people in battle. Sometimes I think of it as the banner that leads a marching band. They "make the way", so to speak, for the band and prepare everyone for their arrival. God has definitely prepared the way for us, and the bible tells us His banner over us is love. {Song of Soloman 2})

Ideally we would love an older home with tons of charm and unique details, but those homes don't really exist in Pace (not unless we bought a hundred year old farmhouse on 50 acres in the middle of nowhere). Maybe one day we'll retire to the Northhill neighborhood in Pensacola (can I get an Amen?!). Plus, because this home is newer, we will be able to move in and not have to change a thing. Of course, Sean and I can't live in a house and not make some changes. I think we have spent more time looking at furniture, design magazines and blogs than we did looking for the house. I can waste a whole day blog stalking, and I can't wait to try out some design tips that I've seen on other blogs. One of my favorites, Jones Design Company, has us very excited about trying out an ambitious painted wallpaper design that can be found here. Thank goodness for bloggers who share the love. We're not so sure we could do a whole room, so we're planning on painting the wall behind our headboard. Cool, right? I also have high hopes of painting our Ikea dressers something other than black, designing a rad playroom for Finley, and a photo collage in the foyer that is swoon-worthy. Who doesn't love a photo collage? Especially one that will take up the whole wall?
(Image from Ellen Silverman via decorpad.com)

I'll definitely be stealing Sean's camera to document all of these fun projects, so look for blog updates in the future.

I can't wait!

New Year, New Trick!

I managed to breeze right through the holiday weekend without making a single resolution. It didn't even cross my mind. Let's just say it's not my style. I spent the weekend hanging out with my family and venturing out in the monsoon that hit north Florida. And of course, video taping this:




I set her down in the living room expecting her to sit down and crawl. Instead she took off across the living room like she's been walking all her life. Now if I could just get that girl to say Mama.

Traditions

My poor Finley has a birthday on Christmas Eve. I know no matter how hard Sean and I try to make her day special, she will inevitably get lost in the shuffle of the Christmas holiday. I was thinking the other day that I really hope her husband goes out of his way to make her birthday special. Anyway, I want to do something for her birthday every year that will hopefully show her how much we love her, something that she can look at as an adult and know that we put great thought into picking out the perfect present. I was talking to Sean's mom about this the other night. We were brainstorming some ideas and she finally came up with a charm bracelet. I instantly loved the idea. Starting this year Finley will receive a charm every year for her birthday. I got excited while shopping for her charm. I really hope that I can buy charms that correlate with milestones in her life. I saw a school house charm and I think that will be perfect for the year that she starts school. Ballerina slippers, a soccer ball, a car, cap and gown. I can't wait!

This is her charm for 2010. Disclaimer: This is uber cheesy...But I chose this one because she has the key to my heart. We love that little girl so much.